Last Days?

June 6, 2009 at 8:03 am 3 comments

Do you believe in miracles?  I do.  But, I’m not seeing Dan rise up as death approaches.  What I am happy to see is that our beloved “family” are praying more, studying God’s Word more…drawing closer to God in their pain.

Dan slept all night, and much of the day.  When the nurse woke him  for a bed bath, he had sweat so much that his hair, pajamas, sheets were wet,  He can barely walk, and he cannot stand up for more than one minute. He asked that we use the wheel chair to move him from room to room.  He stayed in bed, in the bedroom nearly all day.  At 10:30 p.m., blood pressure was 94/54 with a pulse of 147.

He ate a little food and drank some water today, but mostly he slept.  When he was awake, we talked about important things and then he would say something that made no sense at all.   We had been told this would happen as death approaches.  But what he did say that made sense was something that he has told me every day for over 58 years, “I love you.  Do you know I love you?”  I held him in my arms and looked straight into his eyes and told him, “Yes, I know you love me.  Do you know I love you?  I will always love you.  I will always miss you, but when it is time to go be with Jesus, I want you to go.  I am strong.  I will be alright.”  I plan to continue to wear the rings he put on my left hand.  I know that goes against “tradition.”  But I don’t have any plans to be husband shopping, so I am going to continue to honor my husband and wear my wedding rings.

I also told Dan that I had known for many years that he would go first.  Surprised, he asked,  “How did you know?”                    Well, that’s another story.  (Suffice it to say, I am a therapist.  I know personality types, and because of the unspeakable abuse God helped me survive as a child, I am very strong.)  We held each other and cried awhile because we do not have the mind of God.  We do not want to be parted.  Life without Dan would be no life at all for me if I did not have Jesus in my life. 

The Scripture for tonight…try Isaiah 61…

The Year of the LORD’s Favor

 1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
       because the LORD has anointed me 
       to preach good news to the poor. 
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
       to proclaim freedom for the captives 
       and release from darkness for the prisoners, a</a>]” style=”font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; “>[a]

 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor 
       and the day of vengeance of our God, 
       to comfort all who mourn,

 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— 
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty 
       instead of ashes, 
       the oil of gladness 
       instead of mourning, 
       and a garment of praise 
       instead of a spirit of despair. 
       They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
       a planting of the LORD 
       for the display of his splendor.

 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins 
       and restore the places long devastated; 
       they will renew the ruined cities 
       that have been devastated for generations.

 5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks; 
       foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

 6 And you will be called priests of the LORD, 
       you will be named ministers of our God. 
       You will feed on the wealth of nations, 
       and in their riches you will boast.

 7 Instead of their shame 
       my people will receive a double portion, 
       and instead of disgrace 
       they will rejoice in their inheritance; 
       and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, 
       and everlasting joy will be theirs.

 8 “For I, the LORD, love justice; 
       I hate robbery and iniquity. 
       In my faithfulness I will reward them 
       and make an everlasting covenant with them.

 9 Their descendants will be known among the nations 
       and their offspring among the peoples. 
       All who see them will acknowledge 
       that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”

 10 I delight greatly in the LORD; 
       my soul rejoices in my God. 
       For he has clothed me with garments of salvation 
       and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, 
       as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, 
       and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

 11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up 
       and a garden causes seeds to grow, 
       so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise 
       spring up before all nations.”  — Anne and Dan  


Bottle Brush Tree

Bottle Brush Tree


Along California HIghway One

Along California HIghway One


Entry filed under: Cancer's Dark Valley.

A Short Note to Prepare You Dan Still with Us

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jeanie Mercer  |  June 6, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Anne–I have found the last chapters of Isaiah so comforting over the years that my Bible is thumbed ragged there, and some of my favorites are the last two you have posted. May the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord continue to pour comfort on you through his Word, His power and His love. God go with you.–Jeanie

  • 2. Sherrie Hammond  |  June 6, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    We are still praying for you and your family as you go through this hard time. I am so happy reading the words (and tears) you and Dan share with one another–you encourage me–I feel endeared toward you both. I feel happy about the words of strength and comfort you give each other. I feel affectionately warmed by your faithful love for one another, because the wonderful thing about love is that love never ends–love continues on forever (1 Corinthians 13:13).

    I draw much comfort in God’s Promises from Isaiah, especially Isaiah 60,61,62,65:17-25,66:7-9,12-22; 53,54,55:8-12; 57:14-19. I guess, in short, I really get comforting encouragement from Isaiah. The Lord loves you and so do I.

    Love to you,
    Sherrie H.

  • 3. movila maria  |  June 6, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Dear Anne and Dan

    In the last few years ,at this time,we used to be together celebrating our young friends(my kids) finishing of school.It was so special that you both honored us with your presence,that Dan always led us in prayer and asked God’s blessing for Robi,Vanda,Marci…Today Melinda had finished the school,everybody was there even you in our hearts.But we missed to see you standing with us.We continue to pray and believe in wonders.GOD IS GOOD!
    Fritz and Anna arrived home in England yesterday evening.I was happy to be with them a few days.They are praying for you and love you!
    Thank you for Isaiah 61,it always confort me.
    I opened the Bible and: “Now I am very troubled.What should I say?Should I say,”Father save me from this time of suffering,”?No,I came to this time so that I could suffer.Father,bring glory to your name!”(John 12:27-28)
    I wait both come here,you have a lot of work to do!
    Maria and kids


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