The Second Day After

June 13, 2009 at 7:50 am 4 comments

Everything seems so normal – get up, get dressed, and then suddenly realize that Dan is gone, not back in the hospital again, not returning.  Everything stops while the tears flow.  But then regular life starts up again…until the next time I am frozen in grief for my loss.  

Our son and his wife are making all the arrangements for the memorial service Sunday evening, 7 p.m., at Coastside, in Pacifica.  We are working on having the service in Ft. Worth sometime between  June 22 – 27.  Two of our children have very full schedules.  We don’t know if a date can be found that works for everyone.

In lieu of flowers, Dan requested that  Memorials be made to God’s Children, a charitable organization that provides help to the widows and orphans in Romania. Contributions can be made on line (see the Donation note on the right hand side of this page) or sent to the God’s Children, P. O. Box 371011, Montara, CA 94037-1011.

Today, my heart was made joyful when Julia, Kati, Attila, and Andrea Skyped me from Spain and Romania, and Vicki phoned from Texas.  They all share my sense of loss and encouraged me greatly.  My sister, Barbara, suggested that I could help the grandkids and  myself by doing something fun with the grandchildren. So, this afternoon, I took the two available GRAND children for hot chocolate and a ride in my 2000 Turbo 93 Saab convertible…with the top down for the first time!  Dan wants us to be happy for him. He knew we would grieve our loss, but he encouraged us to take care of ourselves by having times of joy in the midst of our sadness.

Most important of all is this…”When the soul finds its home of rest in Me, then it is that its real life begins,” from God Calling, A. J. Russell.  — Anne

Dan and Raul at Red Cross Camp, '08.  Dan cared for the little children.

Dan and Raul at Red Cross Camp, '08. Dan cared for the little children.

 

You can help these precious children.

You can help these precious children

 

Jesus said, "let the little children come to me."

Jesus said, "let the little children come to me."

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Entry filed under: Cancer's Dark Valley.

Dazed Facing Reality

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. movila maria  |  June 13, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Dear Anne,

    Yesterday after reading your letter I was’nt able to write a word.Now,after reading again your letter and what you wrote on the blog I began to realise and understand that our dear Dan had the final victory.But it hurts my heart that I’ll never see,talk and learn from him.But there is the hope we’ll meet again if we’ll have the chance of a similar victory.For this we have a lot of work to do in the name of our Lord.Let’s read together Ps.23,it’s so dear to me:
    The Lord is my shepherd.
    I will always have everything I need.
    He lets me lie down in green pastures.
    He leads me by calm pools of water.
    He gives new strength to my soul
    for the good of his name.
    He leads me on paths of goodness,
    to show he is truly good.
    Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave,
    I will not be afraid of any danger.
    Why?Because you are with me,Lord.
    Your rod and staff comfort me.
    Lord,you prepared my table
    in front of my enemies.
    You poured oil on my head.
    My cup is full and spilling over.
    Goodness and mercy will be with me the rest
    of my life.
    And I will sit in the Lord’s temple for a long,
    long time. ”

    Da,Domnul e pastorul meu…

    Let’s say I’m there with you,and I can hug you and kiss you.
    we love you,continue to pray for you and wait you come home.
    GOD BLESS YOY!
    Maria and the kids

    Reply
  • 2. Sherrie Hammond  |  June 13, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    I agree. Dan wants us all remembering him with joy. We will surely grieve our loss, and this too is a healthy and good thing for us to do. However, God does not want Christians living indefinitely in the grief, because God promises in due season He will restore our joy. After our grief time (and even during our grief), we must live again giving honor and glory to our Lord Jesus, the King of Life Everlasting. Jesus is The Life and in Him there is no darkness at all.

    Anne, I am proud of you for getting up and taking care of yourself … finding the joy in each day, grieving your loss, getting your rest, having fun with you children and grandchildren … this is the healing way to overcome grief and loss. Life goes on, and we must go on living again too one day at a time in the strength the Lord gives us. You are in my daily prayers for God’s kind grace, loving favor, and compassionate mercy to come upon your life. I also pray God bestows comfort, grief relief, and lovingkindness upon you as you grieve.

    I found a poem someone sent me after my dad died last year. I will share the poem at the end of this writing. Take care, sweet mother in the Lord. May God bless and keep you in the Safety of His Enduring Love.

    Love to you,
    Sherrie H.
    ********************************************
    REMEMBERED JOY
    –Author Unknown–

    “Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free!
    I follow the plan God laid for me.
    I saw His face, I heard His call,
    I took His hand and left it all …

    I could not stay another day,
    To love, to laugh, to work or play;
    Tasks left undone must stay that way.
    And if my parting has left a void,
    Then fill it with remembered joy.

    A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss …
    Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
    My life’s been full, I’ve savored much:
    Good times, good friends, a loved-one’s touch.

    Perhaps my time seemed all too brief–
    Don’t shorten yours with undue grief.
    Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
    Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.”

    Reply
  • 3. Marilyn Holland  |  June 13, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    I love that poem – Remembered Joy! How precious!

    Just imagining the joy that Dan is now experiencing – it is truly unimaginable!

    Am praying for your children’s schedules – that all will be set aside to share this time with family and those who love you all!

    I love you, sweet Anne!

    Reply
  • 4. Lil Kwast  |  June 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    I want to add my thanks, Sherrie, for the poem “Remembered Joy.”

    I have so many memories of joy with Dan and Anne. Among them are Dan’s 50th birthday party and the many home Bible studies we did together working in friendship evangelism. Dan was my counselor, giving so freely of his time and friendship to help make great changes in my life. He said he could walk with me “for a while” but the goal was to enable me to walk alone. I am strong today because he walked with me.

    “Our lives are filled with simple joys and blessings without end, but one of the greatest joys in life is to have or be a friend.”

    Anne, Dan remains your friend. That will bring you joy for the rest of your life until you walk together again in eternity.

    Reply

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