Archive for June 18, 2009

The Fatigue Begins to Catch Up

Today, it was a struggle to get out of bed.  I am really exhausted – rather “burned out” inside.  But I knew I needed to eat something to keep my stomach calm.  I’m thankful that made me get up.  But the day was very challenging. I discovered over 50  e-mails that came in soon after I sent out the announcement that Dan had passed.  I had not looked at them.  After I sent out the announcement, I closed my computer and went to bed. Having been up more than 24 hours without sleep, I had to rest before I could face letting the mortuary take Dan’s body away.

When I started looking at the e-mails from last week, sadness enveloped me.  So I stopped.  I’ll read them when I have more energy.  But later, I went to the P.O., and there were a bunch of statements from Medicare and several statements from the hospital, Emergency Room, doctors. I started having flashbacks, remembering all those times rushing to Emergency, sitting in the many doctors’ offices, the days and days that Dan was in the hospital, and that while it helped us have him several months longer…he is now gone from us.  I came close to crashing.  Even though I know that’s simply part of the grief process, it does not make it any easier.  Being a therapist who helps others with grief recovery doesn’t help me get over my own grief any easier either.  

Our son said to give him all the papers about Medicare and bills that come in.  He will look at everything and figure it out. I hope that these are the last of the bills relating to Dan’s sarcoma.  They took care of over $350,000 of Dan’s bills.  Even though we still have some to pay, we don’t have any huge bills.  Because of Medicare, we’re going to be fine.

Another example of how God continues to help us – Nancy,  my new friend, the daughter in law of our beloved Sue Lawrence from Edgefield days,  and a member at RHCC made a Facebook page announcing the container for Romania with a link to the web page. We already have two online donations!  Helping others is good medicine for sadness.  “God will always give what is right to His people who cry to Him night and day, and He will not be slow to answer them.”  Luke 18:7 — Anne

 

Dan in Vienna with Lynn & Barbara Camp of Eastern European Missions who gave us the Hungarian Children's Bibles!

Dan in Vienna with Lynn & Barbara Camp of Eastern European Missions who gave us the Hungarian Children's Bibles!

 

Romanian Children are beautiful!

Romanian Children are beautiful!

June 18, 2009 at 7:09 am 3 comments


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