Seven Days Ago

June 19, 2009 at 8:06 am 3 comments

It was only 7 days ago that my Dan was called Home to Heaven to receive his reward, to be healed from cancer, to rest from his labor…and I became a widow.  This morning, I awoke at 4 a.m. – the exact time 7 days ago that Dan passed from this life to eternal life. I didn’t sleep much after that.  This was the first morning that when I awoke, I knew Dan was not in the our bed And tonight, I realized with a jolt that I am now a “widow.”  He lives in my heart; his spirit is alive.  But I can’t reach out and hold his hand.

This morning, Claudia called from Spain.  Talking with her, I was able to feel my pain and had a good cry…and felt better  At Noon, Adolf, chatted with me on Skype.  I was very encouraged by our conversation about what is important in life.  Tonight, Mark called to ask how I’m doing and what can he do for me.  I told all three that I need them to pray for me – to pray that God will guide me, help me heal from my loss, and show me when it is time to return to Romania.  Those 3 phone conversations uplifted me greatly.

I finally got down to the beach for the first time since Dan died.  The ocean was wild.  Huge waves came crashing, pounding up on the shore as the tide rushed in.  There must have been a storm somewhere, or maybe some more whales had passed by on their way up North.  But the crashing of the water upon itself, and the racing up further and further on the beach seemed once again to reflect my feelings.  

I know God is “growing” me.  Without Dan to lean on, I am being called upon to study God’s Word with others.  Dan was always the teacher.  However, with the Church Planting Movement approach to small group Bible study, I don’t have to be the teacher.  We will all look at the Word together, and learn to understand together.  With God all things are possible.  Remember, “No weapon created for your harm will succeed.” Isaiah 54:17 — Anne

Another view of Dan

Another view of Dan

 

 

In the Sunset of Your LIfe Will You Be like Dan Was - a Tool in the Hands of the Living God?

In the Sunset of Your LIfe Will You Be like Dan Was - a Tool in the Hands of the Living God?

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Entry filed under: Cancer's Dark Valley.

The Fatigue Begins to Catch Up A Walk in the Sunshine

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jeanie Mercer  |  June 19, 2009 at 11:15 am

    “For your Maker is your husband–
    The Lord Almighty is his name–
    the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.”

    (Isaiah 54:5)

    Reply
    • 2. godschildrenorg  |  June 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm

      Jeanie, Thank you for the reminder. The God of all the earth will carry me through this time of grief and fill my my cup with joy in due time.

      Reply
  • 3. Sherrie Hammond  |  June 19, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Anne,
    I love the photos and your thoughts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and photos. You are “fighting through the grief” very well doing the opposite of what you feel, and purging the sadness when you need to release the hurt … these are healthy and good ways that heal. I see you healing. Praise the Lord for His Healing Power! I pray for your total grief recovery. It will happen … in time … and at just the right time, God breaks through and floods our soul with His Amazing Lovingkindness! Remember, God loves you, and so do I. King David says, “…the Lord has broken through my enemies before me, like the bursting out of great waters … (II Samuel 5:20, NLT).”

    Update on my life: My weekend and next week are shaping up to be a very busy one. I have the final dental lower lumineer prep work (2 hours of grinding my teeth) to be done next week (Ouch), and that procedure usually slows me down for about one week afterwards. If I do not converse with you for a few days, please know I am still praying for you and thinking about you every single day. You and your dear family are in my heart with love and hope for brighter and better days ahead. You are doing fine, God is with you. And, I’m proud of your determination to go through “The Valley” successfully, recover, and heal. Hang onto that determination to successfully heal (bold determination comes from God) … and also, continue to believe, believe, believe “I CAN overcome by the power of Jesus Christ who lives in me” … and Christ’s promised recovery will happen! Hang onto Jesus everyday, depend on Him to raise you up, and you can trust in this truth fact: Jesus will NEVER let you down. Jesus always “shows up” on our behalf at just the right moment when we need Him most. You can fully depend on Jesus!

    I leave these thoughts with you. I hope they empower you like they empower me. Jesus says, “I came, so that they might have life–to the fullest (John 10:10-SEB)!” Jesus says, “Don’t allow your heart to be troubled or afraid. You trust in God. Trust in Me too … I am the way and the truth and the life! … I will do whatever you ask for in My name. The Father will receive glory in the Son. If you ask Me for something in My name, I will do it … The Comforter will teach you everything. He will cause you to remember everything I have told you. He is the Holy Spirit … I am leaving peace with you. I am giving you My peace. This peace that I am giving you is not like the type that the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or afraid (John 14:1,6,13,14,26,27-SEB).” Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, so that you may have peace in Me . . . I have conquered the world (John 16:33-SEB).”

    Remember, Christians win victory over every hurtful attack on our lives. The Scriptures teach our victory story rescue in Christ. Jesus rescues believers at just the right moment from the Enemy, “I saw heaven opened. Look! There was a white horse! The person who was riding on it was called Faithful and True. He judges fairly … There are many crowns on His head. He has a name written on Him … He is dressed with a robe dipped in blood. His name is The Message of God. The armies in heaven are following Him on white horses. They are dressed in pure, white, fine linen [in other words, goodness power on behalf of believers]. A sharp sword comes out of His mouth. He uses it . . . He will shepherd them … He has this name written on His thigh: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS … Then, I saw the wild animal … and their armies gathered to fight against the One who was riding the white horse and against His army … But both the wild animal and the false prophet were captured and thrown into the fiery lake which burns with sulfur. The One who rode the white horse used the sword that comes from His mouth [Hebrews 4:12] to kill the other soldiers [annihilate the Enemy’s army] … He grabbed the dragon (that Old Snake, the Devil, Satan) and tied him up (Revelation 19-20).” The apostle Paul comforts believers, “The God of peace will crush Satan under your feet soon. May the gracious love of Jesus our Lord be with you (Romans 16:20-SEB).”

    Love you,
    Sherrie

    Reply

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