Archive for June 29, 2009

I Want to Tell Dan

At church this morning, I was looking for Dan and suddenly realized he was not going to come walking into the auditorium.  Tonight, when we got to the motel in Altus, Oklahoma, I wanted to phone Dan and tell him that we had made it this far with no problems.  Then I remembered, he is not “at our home.”  (In fact, we don’t have a home except in Sfantu Gheorghe.)

Monday, in about 15 hours we will bury the beautiful urn in which his ashes lie in the country cemetery near where he was born.  How fitting…to honor his family by choosing to be buried with his ancestors.  I can understand why some people want their loved one’s ashes with them.  I know he is in heaven.  I know he is now well and strong and happy.  That is important.  But I want to have Dan beside me.

That sounds a bit crazy.  But I miss him so much.  At this moment, I’d take anything I can have of him…even if it’s only ashes.  God will help me.  Advice – to think about where he is;  be happy he is in heaven; keep busy so you don’t think about him.  All of that denies that God made humans in such a manner that we are supposed to grieve when we lose a loved one.  I do not plan to go sit in a dark room and feel sorry for myself the rest of my life.  But neither do I plan to act like I simply lost a sock, or a dime, and move on with no time to acknowledge my God-given feelings.

God will help me get beyond this.  This just happens to be where I am tonight. I share this because there are 150,000 people who die every day in the U.S.  Their loved ones need to know that God expects them to grieve, shed those tears that cleanse their soul, and come out of the nights of grieving stronger people who walk closer with God. — Anne

"Those were the days, my friend.  I thought they'd never end."

"Those were the days, my friend. I thought they'd never end."

June 29, 2009 at 5:22 am 2 comments


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