Each Day Has Troubles Enough of It’s Own

July 16, 2009 at 7:00 am 1 comment

Learning to be a widow is a challenge.  There is still so much paperwork, so many people and companies to notify, so many things to do.  Just learning how to do all the things Dan took care of is overwhelming. I am thankful that one child is helping me with  this.  I am so thankful that Dan and I went through all of our possessions and got rid of them while he was still alive and in good health.

The experiences I am having makes me have even more sympathy for single moms.  The road I am forced to travel is light compared to the life they have most of the time.  The only way I am going to make it through this difficult time is to practice daily Philippians 4:6 – 9, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

“Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”  Paul goes on to say, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.”  This is the road to true peace.  — Anne

Come, sit with me, and enjoy the lovely Zsugash Valley on the edge of Sfantu Gheorghe, Romania.

Come, sit with me, and enjoy the lovely Zsugash Valley on the edge of Sfantu Gheorghe, Romania.

Entry filed under: Finding Direction Without Dan.

In Memory of Dan, Part 7 Special Blessings Today

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Sherrie Hammond  |  July 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Hello Anne,
    You are doing wonderful grief recovery work. I thought of two other Grief Recovery Help Tips that really aid me in these times that try our souls. I hope these griefs tips help you and others as all of us recover from our grief over losing Dan. I can see clearly from your blog entry writings that you already do these two tips below, but I thought I’d share them anyway because I love you.

    CRY: When the tears come, cry. Tears are God’s soul-cleansers. Every time we feel tearful, then cry out our sorrow. [One caution: Driving in the car crying makes the eyes fog with tears, and then we can’t see clearly where we are going on the road. Therefore, we might re-think crying in the car by either holding back the tears until we get home, or safely pull off on the side of the road and let the tears flow. When we are consoled, drive again. I had this happen after dad died last year. I’m driving home from the bank, and all of a sudden a truck with a “Go Navy” sticker drives by. My eyes filled with tears, my vision fogged, and I thought, “Oh boy, I better make it home soon.” Well, thankfully I was almost home when the overwhelming swell of tears came flooding into my eyes. I held back until I got home. At home, I parked the car, and then I jumped out of the car and ran into the house. Then, I cried and cried because my daddy was a Navy man, you know.]

    One example I think about regarding tears and crying out our grief is: The only way dirt comes out of our clothes is by washing the clothes with water, right. The same is true about cleansing out the “sorrow-dirt” from our minds and emotions . . . cry. Let the tears flow, and let the “grief-dirt” be washed away from our souls. After a good cry, then we feel relieved from our grief tensions. We feel refreshed so we can go on living again. We can get up and get on with our God-given life purpose once again. Tears release our sorrow while tears also renew our refreshing outlook on life.

    BOUNDARY LIMITS. Make daily boundary limits on our grief time. God makes boundaries around heaven regarding what goes into heaven and what stays out of heaven. Therefore, we can make limits about what goes in and stays out of our hearts and minds. We can limit the grief time each day and do not allow the grief to rule over our lives, but instead we rule over our grief. In this way, we can go on living again, finding new purpose, new insights, and new life. The truth is: If we spend all day grieving, then our house becomes a dump. Our finances become a mess, our health suffers, and our mind stays living in despair. Good stuff goes into heaven, and bad stuff stays out of heaven by God’s boundary limits. Therefore, we can guard over our heavenly minds and hearts by limiting how long we stay in our sadness each day. Balance is the key to full recovery. If we want heavenly joy returning to our lives in due season, then we must deliberately and decisively set boundary limits on the good and bad that stays within our minds and hearts each day. Then, we can truly be thankful and appreciative for the people and things we have in our life right now. We can truly be appreciative of the time we shared with our deceased loved one too. Balance and boundary limits keep us recovering properly.

    I leave this final thought from God’s promises with you. God says, “Do not worry, I am with you. Do not be afraid, I am your God. I will make you strong. I will help you. I will support you with My good right hand (Isaiah 41:10-ETRV).” God promises, “I will take away the [grief] ashes on their head, and I will give them a crown. I will take away their sadness and give them the oil of happiness . . . Instead of their shame, My people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion, and everlasting joy will be theirs (Isaiah 61:3,7).”

    Love you, Sherrie Hammond


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July 2009

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